so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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