Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
