As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
