I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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