hell yes lets make some ravioli
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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