Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
