I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
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Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.