I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
