I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
