'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He kissed a someone with a penis
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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