so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
