He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
