i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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