I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
