I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize