Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
