Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
