I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
