i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Watching her eat just hurts me
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
