He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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