"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
