Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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