Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
