Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The convent might be a nice break from real life
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
