That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
There's even glitter on my cock...
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