if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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