I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
