So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
