Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize