i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
