I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
