There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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