seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
