I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
