I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
