You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
