the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
