we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
