So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
