This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
