how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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