Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
