in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
