it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
