The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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