It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
