You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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