I smell stomach acid.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
