Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Say something about gay babies.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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