Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
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You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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