Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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