she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize