I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
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At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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