Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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