im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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