dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
