Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
