I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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