if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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