that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
