U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
